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Overall, "Upload" is an interesting, sexy, and exciting addition to your Adult Film collection.

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Upload

The Directors Cut

Review by Matthew Anderson

Live Action Made for DVD Adult Film

Company: Sex-Z Pictures

Running Time: 4 hrs 45 min + 3 Hours of Extras

Region: All

Rating: NC-17 (Scenes of nudity, graphic sex, and rape)

This DVD is preset at Parental Control Level NC-17

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW IS ONE OF AN ADULT NATURE. PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

EXTERNAL EXAM

Cassandra Cray is a special agent with the Digital Security Agency. Her job is to protect The Grid from cybernetic threats called Black Warez. These "warez" range from cyber viruses, to skinsim chips.

Following a tip from one of her informants, Cassandra starts to investigate Tesla, a very popular simwhore. It seems that she has ties to a dangerous cyber virus called Enigma. Tesla lives in constant fear of everything digital, despite being an Avatar, a supreme class of hacker. Initially she refuses to help, until Cassandra figures out that there is more to Enigma than just a simple virus.

Now Cassandra and her partner Michael Born must learn the truth about Tesla and Enigma, before Enigma destroys every one on the planet.

DVD VISION TEST

VIDEO: Absolutely amazing. Recorded in high def video, you see every single detail. From the tramp stamp on Eva Angelina's back to the seams on a cyberspace combat robot. There is no sign of edge enhancement, artifacting, rainbows, and zoomed in to 4X on our LG LRY 517 DVD player, it still looked fantastic.

AUDIO: Standard audio mix for this DVD, which is a little disappointing. The quality is good, but a 5.1 could have really helped the music not overpower the dialogue in some scenes. There were no real surround sound elements I noticed, but then again, with all the...um....grunts and groans, do you really need surround sound?

EDITS: As this movie is spread out over two discs and is over 4 hours long, I doubt anything got removed from this film. Oh wait, on the extras disc, there is one extra scene, so I guess they did.

EXTRAS: On the first two discs nothing, just part one and two of the movie. On Disc 3 there is an extensive "making of" feature, a look at the casting process, a short video on the props used to give "Upload" its futuristic look, and a featurette on the post production work.

Disc 4 has a bonus scene, outtakes, the Emergency Rough Cut (which you have to see to believe), raw video of Cassandra and the "Teslabot" fight in the virtual dojo, Lexicon, cast and set photos, production artwork, trailers, and the screenplay (as a PDF file).

WIDESCREEN REVIEW

STORY: Upload is a pretty standard exercise in the cyberpunk genre, with lots of sex thrown in. At times Johnny Mnemonic, at other times a sexed up version of the X-Files, writer/director Eli Cross along with Alvin Edwards have made an adult film that is more than just a bunch of people banging the hell out of each other. However, it does not quite reach the existential narrative of Michael Ninn movies.

ACTING: For the main stars, the acting is surprisingly solid. Eva Angelina does the tough chick shtick a lot better than most in her field, but she can also do the emotional stuff. I was quite impressed at her "break down" scene. Her cries and seething anger at herself were quite believable.

Hillary Scott was pretty convincing as well. She played the scared, yet confident, avatar Tesla with the right mix of outrage and self assurance. I could really feel the chemistry between her and Cassandra, even though they never acted on it.

Michael Born, played by Derrick Pierce, has a pretty rough start, but gets better as the movie progresses. His speech on what the DSA does is a bit wooden. As he gets more into his character, the cocky, but occasionally whinny, personality of this "tough cop" comes through.

For the rest of the cast, well, not that good. There were a couple of decent bit players, but the rest were pretty weak.

SEX SCENES: You name it, "Upload" just about has it. Straight sex, dual penetration, orgy, anal, oral, masturbation, group sex, lesbian, rape fetish, water sports, fisting, sex with toys, anal sex with toys, sex with toys while having sex with people, even sex in Hell. The only thing I didn't see was two guys having sex with each other. I may be forgetting something, but what else could you possibly want?

FINAL EXAM

In the Adult Film Industry, there are generally two types of film: straight up porn and artistic films with graphic sexual content. "Upload" falls squarely into the middle. It's got plenty of hardcore sex to give any "all American guy" a stiffy, but enough plot and artistic license to appeal to the more high minded fan.

"Upload" takes place in a near future where cybernetic implants called chipjacks (ala Johnny Mnemonic) are pretty standard accessories. People live vicariously through sex simulations (similar to the clips in "Strange Days") and, as always, cyber crime is rampant (Netforce). To police this vast den of corruption is the Digital Security Agency, a sub-unit of the Department of Homeland Security. Their agents are known as some of the best cops out there, able to stop rogue hackers (called Avatars), dealers in cyber-smut, and stop viruses from damaging the intricate network of computers called The Grid.

One of these top cops is Cassandra Cray. Unfortunately, she isn't exactly the model officer. Cassandra is constantly under investigation by her own department, she doesn't follow procedure, and she is fast becoming addicted to the very sex sims she is supposed to police. It doesn't help that she is a sex addict, who never passes up a chance to have a good time. It is during one of these good times she learns about a deadly cyber virus called Enigma. As her investigation progresses, she encounters Tesla, an Avatar who seems to be very closely involved with Enigma. At first, Cassandra is convinced that Tesla is the one who created this doomsday virus, but the more she learns, the more Cassandra realizes that Tesla may be the only one that can stop Enigma.

There is more to the story, but in case you actually want to pick up this title, I'll save the surprise for you. Instead, lets talk about the movie itself.

I don't know if "Upload" beats the record for longest adult film, but I bet it's one of the top 5. This is the first time I have watched a 4 hour + porno. If your thinking that it's the plot that takes up the run time, you are sorely mistaken. The plot takes, I would guess, about 45 minutes of screen time. That leaves you about 4 hours of hardcore sex, and I do mean HARDCORE! They threw in everything but the kitchen sink. I'm amazed someone didn't have sex with a kitchen sink! Most of it was exciting, some of it was disturbing, and all of it was in your face. Or her face. Or his face. Or their face.

It's very obvious that writer/director Eli Cross fancies himself as the next Michael Ninn. I'm sure many other reviewers have compared "Dark Garden" and "Upload", and there is good reason. Both deal with cops trying to stop the use of cybernetic based sex programs, both have cops on the edge, addicted to the very things they police, and both are stylish and intelligent films. I will say that Cross doesn't go for the uber "existential" themes that Ninn typically does, and that's a good thing. I love Ninn's work, but he does get a little "out there" sometimes.

On a technical and visual level, "Upload" is amazing. Better looking than most "SciFi Presents" films, you can easily suspend your disbelief and dive deep into this world of cyber sex clubs, futuristic sedans, tazer bolt guns, and beam satellites. The director, producers, and designers worked hard to develop a futuristic look with a low budget. They utilized everything from book lights, to odds and ends from Home Depot. I give prop master and "Buckaroo Banzi" fan "Perfect Tommy", along with Producer Kylie Ireland and clothing designer Aiden Starr major snaps for all their hard work taking ordinary things and making them look "futuristic".

Along with the props, this movie is a CG paradise. Just about every scene has been processed or enhanced. This gives it a very "virtual look" to the overall film, and enables them to do things that even some of the better budgeted films can not. There is one pretty decent fight sequence between "Cassandra" and a "Tesslabot". If you watch one of the many "behind the scenes" features, you see how they married blue screen footage of Tesla "in" the bot, Eva and Derrick Prince fighting, and the CG elements together. Considering they did it on a small budget, makes the fight scene even more impressive.

I will say that I am now a fan of Eva Angelina. Her acting is solid, her body is perfect, and she looks fantastic, even when she is just sitting there. Her voice is also a major plus for me. The slight rasp in her voice, her sexy purr, and her ability to scream in ecstasy make any scene with her a pleasure to watch.

I have a large amount of respect for Eli Cross and his work on this film. The amount of thought that went into the setting, even going so far to create a lexicon, really elevated the narrative of "Upload". His instance that everyone who auditioned knew the script, and not be cast for their "sex appeal" showed his dedication. What really impressed me was how much he and the production staff got the most out of their small budget. He may very well be the Roger Corman of adult film.

One thing that did give me pause was how many of the scenes would start off with music, and then fade out about one third of the way. While it's fine not to have the soundtrack overpower the scene, not having any music makes the scene boring or brings out some of the "bad" acting. For example, it was painfully obvious that the actresses was trying to get "Cassandra's" hand out of the shot. Where the soundtrack could have covered things up, the lack of music and her barking orders painfully remind you that this is only a movie. It kills your suspension of disbelief.

My only other issue with "Upload" is with the rape scene. Frankly, it was too exploitive and quite unsettling. I don't have a rape fantasy fetish, and any scenes that graphically depict rape are not things I enjoy. Fortunately, there is a skip button. However, with the scene lasting over 20 minutes, and broken down into to 2 minute chapters, I kept having to revisit the rape over and over until I was able to get to the "plot point" at the end. Good news is, if you skip this entire segment, it won't detract from the main storyline.

This brings me to the discs themselves. The presentation on all is well done. The video quality is excellent, the audio is decent, and the extras are plentiful. The chapters for the movie could have been broken down a little better. No movie, no mater how long, should have 99 chapter points. This made advancing to the next scene a little tedious. Fortunately, the main menu breaks it down the right way, enabling you to get to your favorite Eva scenes. My favorite extras were the lexicon, the "Emergency Rough Cut" (one of the funniest alternate versions you will ever see), and the extensive behind the scenes documentary.

Overall, "Upload" is an interesting, sexy, and exciting addition to your Adult Film collection. With its solid plot, good acting, attractive cast, plentiful sex scenes, and great visual presentation really makes this film a joy to watch. If they ever do a sequel, I will gladly plunk down my hard earned cash for a copy.

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